


take my hand (and my whole life too)

by xuxikr



Series: One Month, One Fic: 2019 [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5 + 1, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, kind of a monologue, mention of love simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 20:59:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18506977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuxikr/pseuds/xuxikr
Summary: The five times Mark shares his things with Donghyuck, and the one time he shares his feelings.





	take my hand (and my whole life too)

i.

“Is that Mark hyung’s shirt?” Renjun quips inquisitively, the sound of him sipping from his juice pouch being the only noise that follows his question as four other pairs of eyes land on Mark and Donghyuck.

Mark turns to look down at his own shirt in confusion, before realization hits him a second later. He means _Donghyuck_. Mark looks up from his own shirt, turns to Donghyuck with a brow raised as his eyes zero in on his shirt. _Yeah, that is my shirt._

Donghyuck shrugs and untucks the shirt, fanning himself with the loose material before he walks over to the air-condition. “It is, and I’m about to sweat myself in his shirt because of how hot it is in here. What were you even thinking? Twenty-four degrees?!”

The rest of the Dream members fall easily into the routine of commotion every time they meet, but Renjun finishes his juice pouch without breaking eye contact from Mark, crumples it and then tosses it to the nearby bin.

Okay, that is weird.

 

 

ii.

Sometimes, Donghyuck borrows his clothes but most of the time, he never gets to wear them again. He asks Donghyuck about it, but all Donghyuck tells him is that he’ll return them later after the dorm auntie is done with the laundry. So Mark lets it pass, and then, as always, Mark ends up forgetting about it until he sees Donghyuck wearing it again.

It’s a vicious cycle.

He’s playing a mobile game on his phone, on a voice call with Chenle and Jeno as they play it together. He’s not good at games, but he likes playing with them. It’s always a different energy with the younger kids. He’s too engrossed in screaming at Chenle and Jeno that he doesn’t even notice how Donghyuck has been rummaging through his closet for the past fifteen minutes now.

“Hyung,” Donghyuck gets his attention just as his character dies, Mark pulls out an earphone and turns to look at Donghyuck. There, by his closet, is Donghyuck standing amongst a pile of his shirts.

“Is that Donghyuck hyung?” He hears Chenle say, “tell him we say hi!”

But he mutes his mic and turns to Donghyuck fully, scrambling to get out his bed. “What are you doing?”

Donghyuck turns around to face Mark’s half-empty closet now, most of it on the floor pooling around Donghyuck’s feet. He’s glad he never pays attention to brands or to expensive stuff, if it’s Taeyong’s clothes on the floor right now, he knows the dorm won’t be as quiet as it is. “We need more hoodies.”

Mark blinks, once—twice. “What?” Is he hearing this right? Is he imagining this?

Donghyuck picks up one of his button-up shirts from the floor and dusts it before he tucks it back inside his closet. “And more shirts, what do you think about 87MM? Johnny hyung has been wearing them a lot and I think those loose shirts would suit you nicely.”

Mark splutters. “What?”

 _We_ need more hoodies, more shirts—what exactly does Donghyuck mean by that? Donghyuck blinks at him innocently. “You’re running out of good shirts.”

Mark walks over to where Donghyuck is, running a hand through his hair in confusion. “Because you take all of my good shirts?”

Donghyuck stares at him for a second. “It’s not that I _want_ to, your clothes are comfortable and I _need_ to be comfortable, hyung.”

Mark begins to pick up his clothes, setting them on his bed so he can fold them neatly. Shaking his head, he replies. “Then just buy them yourself?”

Donghyuck plops on the spot next to Mark’s shirt, leaning back on his palms and swinging his legs. His lips are up with a playful smile, sing-songing his next reply. “But then they won’t be as comfortable as yours!”

He feels his ears heat up at that, his cheeks following soon after. “Um, f-fine, whatever.”

Later, when he’s done folding his clothes and putting them back in his closet, when Donghyuck is done making him do online shopping and when Jeno and Chenle are done whining at him for how he abandoned them in game, Mark lies back down in his bed.

He stares at his opened closet, idly watching his clothes until he notices one of his hoodies missing from the rack. Of course. How can he be so foolish to let his guard down?

He catches himself smiling at the thought of his best friend stealing his clothes and wearing them because it’s comfortable. He’s sure that that’s not what best friends do, but Donghyuck has always been weird—so he excuses it for just that. He still anticipates seeing Donghyuck in his hoodie, anyway.

And he excuses the thrumming of his heart for his best friend to just… silly excitement.

 

 

iii.

“I’m going to wear your shoes today.” Donghyuck announces as he emerges from his shared room with Jaehyun, buttoning up his shirt and slipping his arms into the sleeves of his leather jacket. Mark takes a moment to stare at Donghyuck, ripped jeans clinging to his slender legs, his eyes dark with messy eyeliner and Mark forgets how to breathe.

_Wait, what?_

“Which shoes?” He asks stupidly, lacing up his sneakers as their manager begins the roll call. They’re going to be late for their flight but Donghyuck takes his sweet time to dress up. He wonders where the Donghyuck that doesn’t care about what he wears or how he looks like has gone. But he doesn’t mind the change, Donghyuck looks pretty anyway. (Again, what?)

Donghyuck’s pulling out the pair of heeled shoes he once wore for a performance of Regular. Mark doesn’t really like wearing it, it’s rough and feels as if he needs to wear it for ten years to finally break it in, so for a few months now, it’s been stuck inside their shoe closet. “This one.” Donghyuck says.

Before Mark can say anything, Johnny beats him to it, lugging his bag next to him. Mark turns to look at Johnny as the taller speaks. “Isn’t that Mark’s?”

Donghyuck zips up the side of the boots, lifts his head and beams at Johnny. “Yep,” he confirms with a pop of his lips to his syllables, “it fits my outfit, doesn’t it?”

Mark lets his eyes wander dangerously. It begins with the dip of Donghyuck’s shirt, the gap that exposes his tan collarbones and ends at the length of Donghyuck’s legs. He almost forgets how to breathe.

Johnny and Donghyuck are giving him odd looks and Mark clears his throat. “It looks good…”

Donghyuck smiles and hauls his backpack onto his shoulders. “Thanks for the shoes!”

As Donghyuck walk past him and Johnny, Johnny gives him a look—and then a smile. “What?” He asks indignantly.

Johnny merely shakes his head and claps Mark’s shoulders, a fond smile playing upon lazy lips. “You got it bad.”

“Got what bad?”

Johnny doesn’t reply.

“Hyung! Got what bad?”

 

 

iv.

He hasn’t shared a room with Donghyuck since he was 18. He thinks it’s for the better, none of the members want another repeat of 2017 when they would always be at each other’s throats, threatening to kill the other.

Truthfully, now that his relationship with Donghyuck is _this_ good, he doesn’t remember why they even fought in the first place. Now, they’re even roommates again.

They’ve had one too many few drinks, and while the older members are still downstairs finishing up, the two youngest members have decided to call it a night. Mark isn’t a very good drinker and gets giggly after two beers. Donghyuck isn’t any better than him, either.

“I’m so drunk.” He hears Donghyuck giggle from behind him when he finally manages to unlock the door to their room. Donghyuck’s grasping at the back of his shirt, chin hooked on his shoulder and they’re almost pressed back to chest.

“You had two beers.” He teases, manouvering them into their shared room. He turns the lights on as they pass. Donghyuck’s still giggling, clutching on to Mark for dear life as Mark tries to manhandle him to his own bed.

Donghyuck lands on his bed with a thud. “It’s my first time drinking beer.” He tries to explain. Mark sits on his own bed, discarding his shoes and stripping off his hoodie.

Of course Donghyuck would get drunk on one beer. The most alcoholic drink he’s ever had is champagne. He shouldn’t be surprised.

Donghyuck makes grabby hands at him, eyes half-closed as he whines. “Take my shirt off, hyung.”

The request from the younger feels like a bucket of cold water has just washed over him. Suddenly, sobriety hugs him close. “What?” He asks in the silence of their room, his voice sounding more choked than he desires.

Donghyuck whines again. “It’s hot, help me out.”

Mark blinks to clear the bleariness of his vision. It’s not _that_ hot and he has just discarded his hoodie to sleep comfortably. But as he looks at Donghyuck who’s showcasing his best puppy dog pout, and big wide eyes—it’s only then he realizes that Donghyuck is wearing his shirt.

Mark makes his way to Donghyuck’s bed, it takes a little shuffling before he’s sitting on his knees at a comfortable position to comply to Donghyuck’s requests. He strips Donghyuck off his shirt, and when the cool breeze hits Donghyuck’s tan skin, a low groan emits from the other as he turns to his side.

“Are you going to sleep like that?” He asks Donghyuck, who’s now curled up in a tiny ball. His eyes trace the protrusions of Donghyuck’s spine and quickly does he avert his eyes and discard Donghyuck’s (his) shirt to the floor.

The small hum from Donghyuck is all he gets, before soft snoring silences the usually loud male. Mark smiles to himself.

He takes this time to wash up, clear his head a little. The quick shower is almost enough to rid him of the warmth he feels just thinking about Donghyuck. Almost.

He brushes his teeth, slips on a thin tank top and his pajama pants before he heads back into their shared room.

“Oh?” The sight of Donghyuck lying on Mark’s bed gives him a surprise. “Donghyuck,” he calls as he reaches his bed, prodding Donghyuck’s arm a little to check if he’s awake, “that’s my bed.”

Donghyuck budges and looks at him with half-lidded eyes. He has Mark’s pillow tucked in between his legs, as if he owns it. This doesn’t surprise Mark anymore. “Your bed was colder.”

Mark huffs out of his nose, but doesn’t find it in himself to feel any sort of upset over this. Drunk Donghyuck looks cute, and he looks extra cuddly with his hair all mussed up like that. “You’re already shirtless, how are you still hot?” He asks incredulously and takes steps backwards to Donghyuck’s bed.

“Wait—” Donghyuck halts him, a hand reaching out to hold his wrist. “My bed’s hot. You’ll be uncomfortable. Stay here.”

He feels spark, warmth, electricity around where Donghyuck is holding him. The gaze that Donghyuck shares with him is compelling—binding, as if he can’t say no to him. And in the years he has known Donghyuck, he has come to learn that he absolutely cannot say no to him.

Mark sighs. “Move over then.”

“Yay!” Donghyuck chirps, happily scooting over closer to the wall to give Mark some space to lie down on. He knows that Donghyuck’s bed isn’t hot, but he complies, obliges, always.

“Don’t you dare move around or I’ll kick you out.” Mark warns as he lies down, but with no meaning to it.

Donghyuck hands Mark his pillow but quickly replaces it with Mark’s _body_. Yeah, Donghyuck has placed his leg over Mark now, hugging him like a bolster.

Hot. Hot. Warm. Warm. Mark feels warm all over.

Then, Donghyuck’s breath fans over Mark’s neck as the younger snuggles close. Mark lets him.

“Aren’t you—isn’t this… _hot_?” Mark asks, voice sounding more choked than he wishes it to be.

Donghyuck chuckles and it reverberates against Mark’s throat. God, he’s going to _die._ “It can be hot—if you want.”

“W-what…” Donghyuck’s looking up at him through his pretty lashes, and when Mark looks back down at him, he cannot help but swallow the lump in his throat.

Donghyuck looks at him, searches for an answer that Mark doesn’t even know the question for. But he’s not… not nervous… just excited. Exhilirated.

“I’m just shitting you, hyung.” Donghyuck breaks eye contact, laughing as he nuzzles his head against Mark’s neck. His hair tickles Mark’s chin.

Mark’s heart is hammering in his ribcage, he hopes Donghyuck can’t hear it. “Okay. Good. Go to sleep.”

“Mhm,” Donghyuck mumbles, and Mark swears he feels the slight press of warm lips against the skin of his neck.

He feels the goosebumps rise on his skin as Donghyuck falls back to sleep.

Right. Just best friends. Still best friends.

 

 

v.

He’s understandably tired.

So when he learns that they’re flying back to Korea straight after their performance, Mark looks forward to sleeping on the plane the most. It’s the kind of tired that drains him of every life force, the kind of tired that makes him unavaible for any kind of human contact because all his brain wants to do is _shut down._

The members are respectful of his predicament, and for that, he’s thankful. The moment he gets on the plane, he sinks down on his plane seat and then falls asleep.

Someone sits next to him and his head falls right on their shoulder. Mark’s far too sleepy to look at who it is but the familiar scent of musk is comforting. Easily, Mark finally succumbs to his exhaustion.

 

He wakes up about an hour into the flight. The windows are down and the lights are dim. He vaguely remembers someone sitting next to him but the seat next to him is empty when his vision finally clears.

The screen in front of him says they still have three hours before the plane lands. That’s still plenty enough of time to sleep. Rubbing the haze away from his eyes, Mark looks around him out of habit.

He begins to count the heads of his members. There’s nine, including himself—and the missing member presents himself as he walks out of the lavatory. With a small smile, Donghyuck meets his gaze as he sinks back on his seat right next to Mark.

Mark shifts.

“Feeling better, hyung?” Donghyuck asks him in a soft voice, only enough for the two of them to hear. Only now does he notice the blanket perched upon his lap. His heart thrums at the thoughtfulness.

Mark nods. “Yeah, just a bit thirsty.”

Donghyuck takes the water bottle from his coaster and unscrews it open for him. “Thought you’d be.” He says smugly as he hands the plastic to Mark.

Mark frowns, although without much intent as he dissolves into giggles right after, chugging down the liquid. “Thanks.”

The silence and the soft hum of the airplane engines is all Mark can hear. It’s calming, sends a wave of relief over him and he doesn’t feel as exhausted as he did before taking his nap. Somehow, Donghyuck’s presence makes it better. Makes him feel better.

“You wanna watch a movie?” Donghyuck offers and Mark sees the brightness of his eyes behind his bangs and in the darkness of the night.

“We only have three hours left.” He reminds him, cocking his head to the screen in front of them.

But Donghyuck’s already taking out his laptop. “So?”

“Fine,” he mumbles as he pulls the blanket up to his arms. “What are we watching?” He asks as he lifts the arm rest that separates him and Donghyuck.

“I haven’t seen Love, Simon and I heard good reviews.” Donghyuck explains as he begins to rummage through his bag for something. Mark has heard of that movie before, but isn’t quite aware of the gist of it.

Mark looks at Donghyuck jostling through his bag. He seems to be focused on looking for something. “What are you doing?”

Donghyuck looks up at him with a frustrated grunt. “My earphones. I think I lost them.”

That’s a very Donghyuck thing to do. “Geez,” he sighs, feigns disappointment as he pulls out his earphones from the back pocket of his jeans, “always so clumsy.”

Donghyuck’s eyes light up at the offering of the earphones. “Yay!” He cheers hushedly, gratefully taking the cable and untangling it.

Mark looks at Donghyuck and feels that familiar warmth in his chest again—just like last night when they had shared a bed. It’s similar, but different, but it’s all in all—Donghyuck. The warmth in his chest is Donghyuck.

“What’re you looking at?” Donghyuck deadpans, handing him the other side of the earphones.

Mark splutters. “Nothing!” He clears his throat. “Nothing.”

Donghyuck shrugs and slots the earpiece into Mark’s ear himself. He tries not to shudder. “Let’s just watch the movie and don’t you dare fall asleep on me again, hyung.”

Mark agrees silently. Soon enough, Mark has his head perched upon Donghyuck’s shoulder again, the blanket spread out on Mark’s lap previously is now shared between the two of them. It’s the sort of intimacy that makes his stomach flutter but he doesn’t mind. He _likes_ this.

He wonders, as they watch Simon struggle through the ups and downs of high school and deal with the pressing matter of his sexuality (which, Mark can oddly relate to, he wonders what Donghyuck thinks about this), if what they share is something shared between the other members too—or if this, whatever this is, is something that’s sacredly theirs.

Under the blanket, as the plot unfolds and Simon gets outed to the rest of his school, he feels Donghyuck’s fingers intertwine with his. Mark’s eyes flutter up at Donghyuck, but his gaze on the screen remains unwavering.

Mark squeezes his hand, and Donghyuck leans further against Mark.

 

 

\+ 1

One night, before their flight to Osaka for a concert, Mark asks Donghyuck in the dim of their dorm’s dining room. He pokes a straw into the bottom of the juice pouch, takes a sip from it before handing it to Donghyuck. “Are we in a relationship or in a _bro_ lationship?”

He expects Donghyuck to tease him about this forever, to laugh at his face, to ask him if he’s going crazy or going stupid but Donghyuck meets his eyes, with as much sincerity as he holds right now.

He doesn’t know where this sudden courage is coming from, but he’s had enough of night spent overthinking his relationship with Donghyuck—he’s tired of his members’ endless teasing, speaking as if they see something Mark doesn’t between him and Donghyuck.

But if he looks at it in retrospect, he sees what they’ve been seeing all this time.

Mark, out of panic, speaks out again. “I mean… we’ve always been close and… the members, they’ve been teasing us. Last time, Jeno asked me if we were dating or if something happened during our last trip—and then there’s Johnny hyung who’s being so fucking cryptic—it’s making me—”

“Hyung,” Donghyuck cuts him off and Mark bites his tongue. The younger sips from the juice pouch before speaking again. Mark feels on edge. “If you want to be in a relationship, I don’t mind.”

His jaw drops, along with the rest of his internal organs. “You want to date me?”

Donghyuck shrugs. “If you want.”

“Y-yeah, I want that—very much. Thanks.”

Donghyuck laughs around the straw and puts it down once he’s done with the juice. “You’re such a dork.” In one swift motion, Donghyuck pulls Mark’s chair right next to him, eliminating the huge amount of space in between them.

Mark swallows, unable to look away from Donghyuck. “So we’re in a _relationship_ now. Like, dating _dating._ ”

He doesn’t miss the way Donghyuck’s eyes linger on his lips. “You like me, I like you. I don’t see why not.”

“Wow,” he breathes out and it fans over Donghyuck’s lips.

“Are you going to kiss me now? I kind of wanted it to be more romantic, but our dining room is a fine setting too.”

Mark laughs and cups Donghyuck’s face in his hands. He’s had a couple of clumsy teenage kisses, but it’s been so long since he’s last kissed someone properly and this someone isn’t just anyone—it’s Donghyuck.

But Donghyuck has a hand to the back of his neck, pulls him closer—closest, until their lips are touching—until he’s kissing Mark and all that registers in Mark’s brain is he’s finally kissing Donghyuck.

Giggles bubble up in his throat, and Donghyuck pushes him away with red dusting his cheeks. But Mark apologizes quickly, pulls Donghyuck back in for another kiss and this time, with much more intent. He just can’t believe he’s finally kissing Donghyuck.

They kiss for a long time, until someone shuffles into the dining room and they pull away before they can see. It’s Yuta who looks at them suspiciously, but doesn’t say anything and only walks to the fridge to get himself some water.

Mark looks at Donghyuck, then they share a silent laughter. His heart feels full just from the sound of Donghyuck’s mirth.

Mark has shared a lot of things with Donghyuck, shirts, shoes, his bed, experiences, memories—and now, kisses.

Call him cheesy, but as Donghyuck squeezes his thigh as they say good night to Yuta, he can’t help but look forward to the many more things in his lifetime he’ll share with Donghyuck.

(He cannot wait to share the rest of his life with Donghyuck.)

**Author's Note:**

> apologies if the ending felt kind of rushed hhh but it took me such a long time to finish this fic but here it is now! might edit some parts later so.. tell me what you think?
> 
> P.S. i havent actually watched love simon and just looked up the summary on wiki LMDKDJFKD
> 
> cc: [xuxikr](https://curiouscat.me/xuxikr)  
> twt: [@renduckie](https://twitter.com/renduckie)


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